I think that it’s about time I did just that.
We’ve all heard that life is full of ups and downs, circumstantially and emotionally, and most of us have experienced it first hand. One day you’re laughing and loving life, and the next you wonder why you’re even here. Some compare these emotional swings to a roller coaster. You may remember that I very much dislike roller coasters.
My life has been on a long, low downswing for the past few months. I’ve been depressed. Writing has become difficult; putting my thoughts into words is almost impossible. My mind feels like constant chaos, and the confusion and negativity makes it difficult to hear God. Some days, I don’t even want to hear Him. I’d rather wallow in my misery.
Change is elusive. Resolutions slip through my fingers like sand, and I am weighed down with the grief of failure. So I gave up. My blog, my stories, my speeches, my Bible... I stopped investing in those things and sat around watching movies and reading novels and wondering what my purpose was in life.
Long story short, God has been showing me through various people in my life that I need to be content living at home and serving God in my everyday life. Nothing is too small for Him to use for His glory.
All that being said... I’m sorry. I know that I have no formal obligation to this blog. I don’t have to post a certain number of times per month, or update my profile picture weekly. But at this point in my life, my blog is my ministry, and it’s not right for me to neglect what God has given me.
So if God lays something on my heart, I’m going to post it – and hopefully try to live by it as well. If something big happens in my life and I want to share it with you, I’ll post it. I’m tired of being a lazy, lukewarm, woe-is-me believer. I want to live with passion and meaning and fall deeper in love with Jesus every day. Yes, I will fail – failure is guaranteed in this life. But I also know that there is a great reward for those who persevere.
On another note, happy New Year, everyone! God bless 2014. :)
“God is calling you to a passionate love relationship with Himself, because the answer to religious complacency isn’t working harder at a list of do’s and don’ts. It’s falling in love with God.” -Francis Chan