Saturday, November 24, 2012

Simple Words

          I was going through my song folder today, and came across this song that I wrote when I was ten. The words are basic, and I have no idea how the tune is supposed to go, but the message behind the simple lyrics is sweet.

August 24th, 2007

Jesus You love me
Jesus You hold me like a precious gem
Even though my earthly brothers look at me like a dirty wretch,
You still hold me like a precious gem

As You hold me in Your hand,
I know this must be Heaven
Where we ride on the cougar’s back
And soar on eagles wings
And run and play in the grass
Climb up trees ever so fast
I know this must be Heaven
P.S. So sorry that I haven't had a "real" post in so long. NaNoWriMo has, as expected, consumed much of my time. I plan on writing a nice big post soon, so stay tuned!! :)

Thursday, November 22, 2012


            Happy Thanksgiving!
            It is a lovely day outside. Wispy clouds, warm sunlight... My cat, Mr. Darcy, spent this morning tearing up my face, so I didn’t get to sleep in. I’m not overly thankful for him clawing at my eye, but I am thankful for my (normally) sweet little kitty. :)
            I hope that you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving! We’ll be having a scrumptious lunch/early dinner, and then my brother and his wife are coming over, as well as a family from our speech club, for pie and games. So tonight will be fun!
            In closing, I would like to share with you a list of 65 things that I am thankful for today (NOTE: I wrote this list as things came to mind. There is no rhyme or reason to the order that things are listed in).

I am thankful for…

  1. autumn beauty
  2. foggy mornings/cloudy afternoons
  3. the freedom to worship God and read the Bible
  4. my friends
  5. my wonderful family
  6. music
  7. late-night phone conversations
  8. warm sweaters
  9. God’s never-ending grace and love
  10. writing
  11. being told, “I love you”
  12. the fact that God is in control, no matter what
  13. knitting
  14. apple cider and pumpkin bread
  15. an amazing church
  16. masquerade balls
  17. a good book
  18. journaling
  19. the Terrible Trio
  20. boots
  21. calligraphy pens (and the ink-stains they leave on your hands)
  22. weddings
  23. my awesome new sister
  24. formal gowns
  25. forgiveness
  26. kittens
  27. dreams
  28. health (LIFE)
  29. the Writers Guild
  30. my leather gloves
  31. God’s promises
  32. inspiration
  33. cooking/baking
  34. sleepovers
  35. the riches that God has blessed us with
  36. typewriters
  37. photography
  38. speech club/speech tournaments
  39. beauty
  40. language
  41. antique shops
  42. shopping
  43. hanging out with friends
  44. prayer
  45. musicals
  46. clouds
  47. memories
  48. roadtrips with friends
  49. singing
  50. organizing
  51. rain
  52. scrap-booking
  53. Frisbee at the park
  54. ice cream
  55. little things
  56. swinging
  57. long walks
  58. Dutch Bros.
  59. home videos
  60. Photoshop
  61. horses
  62. snowflakes
  63. all the years I got to have with Josh, and all the memories I have with him.
  64. the love of God
  65. apple pie
          What are some things that YOU are thankful for?

Our beautiful turkey. :)

Apple and Chocolate Chip Pies.
The pie I made (well, Mom made the crust...) :D

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Freedom from Fear

            I recently realized that I am a fearful person. I’ve been afraid of losing loved ones, afraid of natural disaster, afraid of yesterday’s election, afraid of where our country is headed… Everything kept piling up, until I realized that I was living in constant fear.
            Fear is a lack of trust in God. I’m sure we all know this simple truth, but have you ever really thought about it? That when we are fearful, we aren’t trusting fully in God?
            I’m not saying that you’ll never be afraid. Life is frightening sometimes, and we can’t help but be fearful. But if we continue to live in fear, then it shows that we aren’t willing to trust God.
            Everything that happens in life is according to God’s plan and will. Shouldn’t we be content to let it all rest in His hands? Even if we worry, He’s still in control. So by living in fear, all we’re doing is missing out. Missing out on the blessings and gifts He has planned for us along the way.
I love the song Believe Me Now by Steven Curtis Chapman. This line has always stood out to me:
I am the God who never wastes a single hurt that you endure. My words are true, and all My promises are sure, so believe Me now.
            That first part just gets me. I am the God who never wastes a single hurt. Wow. All the pain that I have endured, all the hardships I’ve faced, it’s all for a reason. God is going to use every little hurt to create His beautiful masterpiece.
            God is the Grand Author. As a writer myself, that just makes everything so much clearer. I know what it’s like to have stubborn characters. I know that sometimes you have to hurt them to help them grow. And I know that the end result will be a complete, beautiful story. Hopefully, one that honors and glorifies God.
            In closing, I would like to share some verses with you that have blessed me. The first verse I read for the first time exactly six months ago – two days after Josh drowned. I found Isaiah 12 to be a huge comfort, but this verse in particular stuck with me.
            Accept the comfort that God offers, and let go of your fears. It will be worth it.

Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid, for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation. -Isaiah 12:2

And those who know your name put their trust in you,
for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you -Psalm 9:10

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you -Psalm 56:3

In God I trust; I shall be not be afraid. What can man do to me? -Psalm 56:11

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. -John 14:27

And Jesus answered them, “Have faith in God.” -Mark 11:22

Monday, November 5, 2012

Dear Josh...

            So, what’s it like up there? I wish I had some picture of Heaven, so I could imagine you there, but I guess I’ll just have to wait. For now, I imagine you playing with Paul, Evan, and Honor. Tell them their big sister says that she loves them and can’t wait to meet them.
Mom and I were talking the other day, and she said that it seemed strange, but that she actually misses you more now then she did when you first left. I replied that it’s because when you first left, the pain was in the thought of you never returning. Now the pain is in actually missing you.
            I can’t believe that it’s been six months. It feels like it’s gone by so fast, yet lasted an eternity. So much has happened, and yet so many things remain unchanged.
            I miss you so much, Josh. I miss talking with you, singing with you, dancing with you. I miss the happy, carefree days we spent together as children. The other day I was thinking about different things we did as kids. Our “Beanie Baby wars”, playing My Little Ponies, playing Eddyville, having you and Mom attend my “wedding”. We made so many memories together. I cherish those more than anything.
            I was also thinking about that morning – trying to remember the last thing I said to you. I’m still not sure what that was. The last thing that I remember was you asking me where the lunchbox was in the pantry. I told you, and you packed your lunch. And then…you walked out the door. I heard it close, but I had no idea it had closed for good.
I’ve tried to imagine what you must have felt like. What you were thinking about. Were you thinking about those standing on the rocks, watching you? Were you scared? Were you thinking about your family, grieving your death?
Of one thing, I’m sure. I believe that the very last thing you thought about was meeting God face to face. And I believe that you were excited.
            You have seen God’s face. Whenever I think about that, I start crying. You have been in the presence of God. The thought of you worshipping at the throne of God makes heaven and eternity so much more real to me. And the knowledge that you are still living gives me hope.
            I miss you so much. I never knew what it felt like to hurt like this. But I know – I know – that it was God’s plan to take you home. And that through doing so, you have changed the lives of thousands.
            You, Joshua Steven Eddy. You and your imperfections, your passion, your zealous love for your Savior. You and your love for others, your impulsive, cheerful personality. You and your quirks and gifts. You and your faith in God.
            Yep, well, I’m crying now. But don’t you worry about me. I’ll be okay. God has promised me that I will see you again, and I’m clinging to that promise.
            There is so much more I could say, but I’ll save that for another time. Thank you for changing my life. Thank you for being so good to me, Joshy, even when I didn’t deserve it (which was most of the time). You were a true brother, and I love you so much.
            Goodbye Josh… for now.


Thursday, November 1, 2012

Magnificent Obsession

          Happy November!! I can't believe how fast this year has flown by. The following song is my prayer for November, and ultimately, my prayer for my life. I absolutely love this song, because it describes exactly how I feel. It's hard to find songs like that. I hope that you're blessed by it as well.

Magnificent Obsession
by Steven Curtis Chapman

Lord, You know how much
I want to know so much
In the way of answers and explanations
I have cried and prayed and still I seem to stay
In the middle of life’s complications
All this pursuing leaves me

Feeling like I’m chasing down the wind
But now it’s brought me back to You
And I can see again

This is everything I want and this is everything I need
I want this to be my one consuming passion 

Everything my heart desires, Lord I want it all to be for You
Jesus be my magnificent obsession

So capture my heart again
Take me to depths I’ve never been
Into the riches of Your grace and Your mercy
Return me to the cross and let me be completely lost
In the wonder of the love that You’ve shown me
Cut through these chains that tie me down
To so many lesser things
Let all my dreams fall to the ground
Until this one remains

This is everything I want and this is everything I need
I want this to be my one consuming passion
Everything my heart desires, Lord I want it all to be for You
Jesus be my magnificent obsession, my magnificent obsession

You are everything I want
And You are everything I need
Lord You are all my heart desires
You are everything to me

You are everything I want, You are everything I need
I want You to be my one consuming passion
Everything my heart desires, Lord I want it all to be for You
I want it all to be for You
'Cause You are everything I want, You are everything I need
I want You to be my one consuming passion
Everything my heart desires, Lord I want it all to be for You J
esus be my magnificent obsession, be my magnificent obsession
All for You