There’s no escaping it. Each and every one of us is born with a sin nature. One that we cannot conquer until Christ returns.
So. What do we do in the meantime?
We study God’s word. We seek His will. We pray. We endeavor to shine the light of Christ is this dark world.
And a lot of the time we fail.
Failure is something that is hard for us to swallow. It is a mark of inadequacy, a sign of weakness. To fail is to not be good enough – which, when it comes to God and His word, we aren’t.
I have failed in a lot of things lately. I’ve failed to fulfill my list of resolutions, failed to be kinder to my siblings, failed to be patient, failed to encourage, failed to spend more time in the Word, failed to keep my mind pure, failed to keep my body in shape... The feeling of failure has been overwhelming. And discouraging.
It is frustrating to realize (again) how incompetent I am. Utterly weak and dependent. It’s also humbling to realize how much God loves me. Not because I am weak and dependent, but simply because of who I am.
I still grapple with the incomprehensibility of this.
How can He... love me?
Life has been difficult lately. For the past few months, I have been sliding downhill. Some nights, I fight to climb higher; others, I let myself fall deeper. I lack the strength to fight to voices in my mind, so I succumb to them. I let myself believe that my life is pointless. That I’m a failure. I am trapped inside myself, wallowing in the dark misery that overwhelms my mind.
All the while, He is waiting just outside.
There are no excuses. God offers us the strength we need. It is a long, hard fight – one that must consume every part of who we are. But when the dust settles and the blood dries, we will be the victor. And our reward is everlasting.
Yes, I am a failure. But He is a Lover. And love, portrayed in crimson blood, covers a multitude of sins.
If we would just open our eyes and stop thinking about “me” long enough to see God’s outstretched hand, we would find our strength renewed. As I said in the beginning, we will not conquer our sin nature until we enter the gates of heaven. But with God’s strength, we can certainly fight it.
"When it comes to killing my sin, I don't wait for the miracle.
I act the miracle." -John Piper