Thursday, June 13, 2013

Time Doesn't Heal Wounds

       The pain never really goes away. Some days it may not be as sharp and stinging as others, but it’s always there, eating away at the back of your mind. You’re always aware of a dull ache, a whispering longing. The hours can be full of fun and laughter, but at the end of the day a solemnity settles on you and you remember. As long as there are memories, there will be pain.
I miss Josh. A lot. I miss his smile; the way his shoulders would shake when he silently laughed. I miss his crazy schemes and love of life. I miss seeing him prowl around with his camera in hand, striving to capture the wild beauty of nature. I miss all those late nights we shared, discussing life and its struggles.
I just miss him.
But God is faithful. This is one of the biggest things I have learned over the past thirteen months. God. Is. Faithful. He will never leave me or forsake me. Despite how overwhelming the darkness may feel, no matter how much pain I am in, He is faithful. He is walking me through the Valley. It is long and dark, laced with tears, but He is by my side. What have I to fear?
I need to remember all that has happened since Joshua’s death. I need to remember all the lives that have been changed. I need to remember that he did not die in vain. God has a purpose for everything. Oh Jesus, help me to believe.
Time doesn’t heal wounds. It teaches you to live with the pain. God, the ultimate Healer, will heal us completely one day. But until then, we live by grace.
And so I will continue to say Praise God.
For He is worthy of praise.


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