Memory Lane

          The weather took a turn this weekend. I came home from a hot and sweaty week in California to a cloudy sky, cool breeze, and light rain on Sunday morning. It was simply delightful.
          The temperature this week has continued, thus far, to be pleasant. Today in particular was lovely. It started out cloudy, cool, and with a bit of a drizzle, which all faded away to breezy sunshine and thick white clouds by mid afternoon. The lingering smell of rain outside was tantalizing, and after dinner I decided to take advantage of the autumn-esque evening and go for a walk. I stuffed my phone in my pocket, slung my camera around my neck, and headed outside to enjoy nature. Take some photos. Pray.
          About halfway down the driveway, I deviated from the pavement and made my way to our storage building. I'm not really sure what inspired me to do so; I suppose I had a subconscious desire to walk down memory lane. I undid the padlock and made my way to the back corner of the room, kneeling beside a box of a miscellaneous assortment of Josh's belongings. Using my phone as a flashlight, I pawed through the box - the contents of which I already knew so well. Letters, notebooks, shoes, random gadgets, pieces of this, parts of that.
          I picked up a stick of Old Spice deodorant and as I caught its scent, my emotional wall broke and I lost it (even though this wasn't his regular scent; he typically used After Hours).

          Needless to say, I felt rather ridiculous sitting alone in our dark storage building, sobbing while listening to music and hugging a stick of deodorant, but when the grief hits, there isn't much you can do about it.
          I dug deeper into the box, pulling out other memorable things, things he loved. Things that were important to him.

          I remember making him this scarf. I remember how often and how proudly he wore it, even though it was made with cheap yarn that wasn't as soft as advertised.
          And then there was his script for First Impressions, which he of course he promptly signed.

 

          He would probably be embarrassed by me sharing this photo; his signature isn't exactly in top form here (to this day, I still find new and hidden locations where he would practice getting his signature just-so. The boy was obsessed).  

          I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of these candles. A certain lady-friend of Josh's gave them to him, and he insisted they smelled wonderful and burned them in his bedroom regularly. In reality, the candles smelled less than fantastic, but I always thought it was a sweet gesture. 

          There were also many letters written to him while at ALERT, among which was the card I sent him for his 19th birthday. 

          Oh the bitter irony.
       

          Josh always had such a love for music. He was definitely the most musically gifted in our family, and was always drumming out a beat on the countertops with his fists, or strumming out a tune on his packing-tape-bandaged guitar. That boy used to make so much noise. I miss it.

          And then I found this lovely piece of paper, on which he had scrawled various song lyrics. I love this so much. 

          I could sit here all night, showing you pictures and telling you stories, remembering all his little quirks and reminiscing the past. But with the warmth of remembering him is an increasing ache of missing him. It's been a pleasant stroll down memory lane, but I think it's time to head home for now.

          There is a definite chill in the air. I think I'll go slip into his hoodie and head off to bed. 

~Riah

Write {Right} Now

       You know what I realized?
I don’t need to have it all figured out. I don’t need to put off writing until my incoherent mess of thoughts miraculously falls into place. My writing doesn’t need to be pretty or eloquent. I don’t need to wait to encourage or exhort others until my life is in spic-and-span order. I don’t need to only blog on topics that I am familiar with, or issues that I fully understand, or struggles that I have overcome.
Writing doesn’t come with qualifications. Sometimes, you need to just sit down and write, even if you don’t know what words are supposed to – or will – come out.
It was a podcast by John Piper (“Don’t Conversations Illuminate Truth, Too?” Ask Pastor John, #613) that brought me to this realization. So often I am discouraged from writing because my thoughts are in such a chaotic tangle in my mind and I’m not even sure what exactly I want to say. But, as John Piper reminds us in this podcast, writing is the key to untangling that thread. We learn so much simply in the process of writing. At the very least, it is an effective way to put your thoughts down in a physical form that can be organized and refined. Because we all know that mulling something over in your mind is not an effective method to organizing and processing thoughts.

        “The confusion you feel over what you are supposed to say or want to say will not go away until you try to say it. Don’t let your confusion over what to write keep you from writing.” -John Piper

The other thing that frequently holds me back from writing is my own imperfection. I fall short in so many ways, and I almost feel as though I don’t have ‘any place’ encouraging others to improve or change aspects of their life unless / until I have it all together for myself. I can’t stress the importance of prayer to my blog following because my prayer life is so feeble right now. I can’t encourage people to have good relationships with their siblings because I can hardly stand to be around my own. You see where I’m going with this.
But I’m realizing that this isn’t the case. If we never exhort one another until we have mastered any given area of life, then it’s never going to happen because we are never going to attain perfection (in this life). True, the more knowledge and experience you have the more effective an example you can be, but there is a place for those who are still in the early stages of learning. We are all called to “encourage one another”.
By blogging, not only do I get to process my thoughts on a certain subject and encourage / exhort others to do the same, but I also am holding myself accountable. If I tell the online world that I am going to work on a certain area of my life, then I am held doubly accountable to do so. It is an encouragement and reminder to continue striving to be more like Christ.

I want to always be real. Sincere. Honest. Raw. About the good, the bad, and the ugly. I want to be relatable. I want people to be blessed through me, in whatever way God might choose – through my failures, my successes, my struggles, my random thoughts, my relationship with Him. I want to learn and grow, and share what I’m learning with others. I want to write beautiful things that will inspire people. I want to have the strength to be transparent, in hopes of encouraging someone who might be fighting a similar battle. I want to live boldly in delight of Christ. I want to be passionate, and I want that passion to be contagious. I want to learn the art of living for others, rather than myself. I want to fight the good fight, live wholly for Christ, and have my life be an encouragement to people when I can show them how far I’ve come. How far He’s brought me.
Honestly... that pretty much sums up all I want in life. I want to live for God, the glory of His name, and I want to live it well.
I believe that my love and passion for writing is a gift from God, and as such, I want to use it to the fullest. Now, unprepared though I may feel. As Lemony Snicket so rightly put it, “If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting the rest of our lives.”

I have a long list of blog posts that I will steadily be working away at. By God’s grace, you’ll hopefully be hearing from me soon. :)

~Riah 

p.s. I very much enjoy the Ask Pastor John podcast and definitely recommend it. You can download the app on the App Store, Google Play, or you can listen to the podcasts on the Desiring God website. 

Stay True {Video Contest}

          Hello everyone!

          So, I entered a contest... and the grand prize is a trip for two to Scotland.
          You may or may not know this about me, but I positively adore Scotland. Going there has been my biggest dream for many years.
          The premise of the contest was simple. Listen to Heirloom Audio's presentation of G.A. Henty's In Freedom's Cause, and make a video (up to three minutes in length) sharing what about the audio makes you want to go to Scotland. 

          The grand prize winner is selected by a panel of judges, but there is a Viewer's Choice prize of $500 awarded to the video with the most votes. It would mean so much to me if you'd watch and vote for my video to support me in this. <3 The contest ends on August 7th, and winners are announced on the 13th. 

          If you would like to watch my video, just click THIS LINK. = ) Please feel free to share!

          **UPDATE** You can vote for my video once a day, so if you want to bookmark the link and throw a vote my way every 24 hours, it would be very appreciated. ;)
          God bless! 

~Riah

Real Life

         Isn’t it funny how the most simple, blatantly-obvious realities can be rendered awe-inspiring? It is often the things that we have taken for granted for too long, or the things that are so constantly there that they go unnoticed. And yet, when we take a moment to pause and think about what we once considered “obvious”, we find ourselves blown away.
         I recently experienced such a realization. It was this:
         I am living my life right now.
        Perhaps those five words elicited a chuckle, or a head shaking smile from you from their sheer no-brainer-ness, but just think about it for a moment.
        These moments, these days, months, and years... this is it. This is my life. It’s not like I’m simply here to observe and take notes, and then the “real deal” comes later. No. This is not a how-to guide, or a prologue. Every breath I take is a part of my eternal story, and that amazes – and, honestly, rather frightens - me.
This is my one chance.
        Understand that I don’t say all of this in a despairing way, or in the way the world would say it – that because this world is all there is, I need to live my best life now. Not at all. I know that this life on earth is simply the foreshadowing of greater things to come. I know that when my life here is through, I will join my Savior in paradise, glorifying Him with the perfected body of Christ for eternity. Oh, and what a glorious day that will be!
        But this – these few, brief years on earth - is my once chance to be a light in this dark world. This is my one chance to love, to reach out to the lost, to be a disciple of Christ.
        And it makes me look back over the past eighteen years and wonder... how much of this beautiful life have I wasted? I don’t have to think about that for more than a moment to know that the answer is too much.
Too much time spent waiting, wondering, fearing, hoping, dreaming, procrastinating... too many wasted moments. Too many days left unused. Too many hours spent in self-absorption.
Not enough time spent abiding in God.
In reality, the Christian life isn’t difficult. It is our flesh, and our inclination to follow its every whim, that makes it so incredibly hard.
        If you’re anything like me, life can at times become nothing more than a routine to be fulfilled, rather than precious time to be used wisely. How often do you think about the fact that your life is fading away? Chances are that’s probably not something that you think about all the time. I think that is why at times God gives us a tap on the shoulder (or perhaps more of a jarring shake) to wake us up and remind us to live.
       The brevity of life is something that frequently comes to my mind, but I don’t often dwell on it. I think Christians need to do more of that – again, not in a despairing way, but so that we don’t lose sight of the value of life. We need to remember that there is more at stake than our comfort and happiness (and that true peace and joy are found in Jesus Christ).

       Don’t take your life for granted. Don’t waste the minutes and days you’ve been given. Take advantage of the opportunities that are before you, share the love of Christ and be an advocate for freedom, enjoy the small things, be willing to take risks, do your best, love to the fullest. Live to the glory of God, and you will indeed live well.

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, 

and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.” 

Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. 

You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. 

Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.” 

But as it is, you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil. 

Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.

~James 4:13-17

~Riah

Some Moments Were Made Simply To Be Lived

  One of my favorite recent movies is The Secret Life of Walter Mitty with Ben Stiller. I love that movie. It is so delightfully random and hilarious, and it has a good story to-boot.
But the one part that always frustrates me (minor spoiler alert) is when the photographer, Sean O’Connell, finally sees the snow leopard while atop the Himalayas – and he doesn’t take the picture! Every time I watch that movie, I say to myself (or the person I’m watching it with), “Why doesn’t he just snap a picture real quick, and then enjoy the moment? That’s what I would have done.”
While I still think I probably would have taken the picture, I can understand why he didn’t. It’s like the song 3x5s by John Mayer: I didn’t have a camera by my side this time // Hoping I would see the world through both my eyes. Some moments are meant to be enjoyed without the distraction of a camera.
Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking pictures. I love taking pictures; I think that photography, the art of capturing images and memories, conveying thought and emotion, is a beautiful thing that we should take advantage of and enjoy.
But I also think that we need to learn to recognize that there are some moments that can’t – and shouldn’t – be captured.
Some moments were meant to simply be lived.
Perhaps it’s just me, but I know that I can be somewhat obsessive about capturing memories. I’m always taking pictures or videos, or writing in my journal, in an effort to capture each moment and the thoughts and feelings therein. I crave the memories. But sometimes, I find that I am spending more effort investing in the future memory than I am in enjoying the here and now. And I don’t feel like that should be the case.
I’ll say again that I don’t think there is anything wrong with taking pictures. I have thousands of photos and hundreds of videos on my computer (about 500GB), and I am immensely grateful to have them. By all means, pull out your camera and phone and take photos on a hike, take a selfie with your friends when you go out for ice cream - take pictures of whatever, whenever you want. The ability to capture images in such a way is a gift, and most certainly one that we should take advantage of.
My only caution is this: Don’t let yourself get so caught up in the future that you forget to enjoy the present. I don’t know how else to put it into words, but if you’re like me, then I think you know what I’m saying. Don’t always be so quick to expend your energy to capture a particular moment. Sometimes, you just need to simply live; just admire the snow leopard from a distance and don’t worry so much about capturing its beauty. Perhaps there is a reason that God gave this particular moment to you to enjoy.
        Anyway... just some food for thought.
And when you do feel it’s appropriate to take a photo or video... for heaven’s sake, don’t always feel the need to post it on social media.
But that’s another post for another time. ;)

~Riah

{Birthday} Photo Scavenger Hunt

        As of yesterday, I joined the ranks of adulthood. Woohoo! *blows party horn*

        We celebrated my birthday this afternoon with a photo scavenger hunt. We divided into three groups and roamed Rogue River, taking pictures according to the photo list. Once we were finished, we all went to my house for dinner, then we looked through all the pictures and voted on which ones we thought were best. The team with the most winning photos won (it ended up being a tie).

        Below is the compiled list of "best" pictures, as nominated by the people. Enjoy our craziness. ;) 

1. Shaking hands and / or making a hand heart with a stranger.

2. Make a rainbow

3. Find "Mariah" 

4. Profound advice

5. Something sparkly

6. Laughter

7. Ice cream

8. Forced perspective

9. Rule of thirds

10. This is uuuuugly

11. I don't know how to use this

12. This artwork makes me feel so emotional

13. Uh-oh

14. Bear hug

15. An epic duel

16. Dancing with a stuffed animal

17. Railroad tracks

18. A shadow picture

19. A typo

20. A reflection

21. Crime scene

22. I can't believe we all fit in here

23. Imitating a picture from a book

24. Modeling

25. Midair

26. Family dynamic

27. Music

28. Summer

29. Crossing the street

30. On a park bench

31. Obey the sign

32. Searching

33. On a bridge

34. Piggy back race. This is a screenshot from the video (I won ;).

35. Video of a team member(s) singing a cheesy love song (screenshot).

~Riah